It’s okay to say it.

no

It’s a tiny word–two letters packed full of power and boundaries and healing.

No. 

Why is it so difficult to say? 
Is it because we’ve been told that we need to go with the flow?
That we need to be flexible and stop being selfish?
That we’re being difficult?
Or stubborn?
Or withholding?

No feels unkind when we’ve been told that kindness is always saying yes, or that our value lies only in what we can give to the people around us.

But that’s not what kindness is and our value is intrinsic and has nothing to do with what we can give others.

True kindness begins with the way we treat ourselves.
What do I need?
Am I taking care of myself?
What are my values and how can I live them today?
Am I being asked to do something that compromises those values?

Kindness is understanding that your primary responsibility is you.
It’s saying what you mean, but not saying it mean.
It’s letting other people take responsibility for their stuff.
And, often times, it means saying no

No is the humble sentry guarding your peace.
No is the brave soldier defending your boundaries.
No is the wise captain leading you out of danger.

Don’t be afraid of no.

Saying no does not affect your worth or the quality of your character, regardless of what you may have been told.
It doesn’t mean you’re selfish or rude or unyielding.

It means you’re healthy.
It means you know yourself.
It means you value your health and integrity.
It means you’re not willing to compromise your values.
It means you know that your only responsibility is you.
It doesn’t need an explanation.
It’s a full sentence all by itself.

No.

Embrace no, you beautiful soul, and see what happens next.

-K

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